How to Be Assertive It`s not always easy to identify truly assertive behavior. This is because there`s a fine line between assertiveness and aggression, and people can often confuse the two. For this reason, it`s useful to define the two behaviors so that we can clearly separate them:
Assertiveness is based on balance. It requires being forthright about your wants and needs, while still considering the rights, needs and wants of others. When you`re assertive, you are self assured and draw power from this to get your point across firmly, fairly and with empathy.
Aggressive behavior is based on winning. You do what is in your own best interest without regard for the rights, needs, feelings, or desires of other people. When you`re aggressive, the power you use is selfish. You may come across as pushy or even bullying. You take what you want, often without asking.
So, a boss who places a pile of work on your desk the afternoon before you go on vacation, and demands that it gets done straight away, is being aggressive. The work needs to be done but, by dumping it on you at an inappropriate time, he or she disregards your needs and feelings.
When you, on the other hand, inform your boss that the work will be done but only after you return from vacation, you hit the sweet spot between passivity (not being assertive enough) and aggression (being hostile, angry or rude). You assert your own rights while recognizing your boss`s need to get the job done.
The Benefits of Being Assertive
One of the main benefits of being assertive is that it can help you to become more self-confident, as you gain a better understanding of who you are and the value that you offer.
Assertiveness provides several other benefits that can help you both in your workplace and in other areas of your life. In general, assertive people:
• Make great managers. They get things done by treating people with fairness and respect, and are treated by others the same way in return. This means that they are often well-liked and seen as leaders that people want to work with.
• Negotiate successful ``win-win`` solutions. They are able to recognize the value of their opponent`s position and can quickly find common ground with him.
• Are better doers and problem solvers. They feel empowered to do whatever it takes to find the best solution to the problems that they encounter.
• Are less anxious and stressed. They are self-assured and don`t feel threatened or victimized when things don`t go as planned or as expected.
How to Become More Assertive
It`s not easy to become more assertive, but it is possible. So, if your disposition tends to be more passive or aggressive, then it`s a good idea to work on the following areas to help you to get the balance right:
1. Value Yourself and Your Rights
To be more assertive, you need to gain a good understanding of yourself , as well as a strong belief in your inherent value and your value to your organization and team.
2. Voice Your Needs and Wants Confidently
If you`re going to perform to your full potential then you need to make sure that your priorities – your needs and wants – are met.
3. Acknowledge That You Can`t Control Other People`s Behavior
Don`t make the mistake of accepting responsibility for how people react to your assertiveness. If they, for example, act angry or resentful toward you, try to avoid reacting to them in the same way.
Assertiveness Stand Up Guide Main Features:
👏 how to be assertive at work
🙌 self assertive
🤝 assertive communication
🧠 assertiveness workbook
Download our app Now!